Finding commonality through connection one conversation at a time.
👥 What To Expect At A Monthly Gathering
Strangers are paired at random, and the two will have one hour to get to know each other, and see life from someone else's perspective. The gathering is open to any adult who wishes to participate in a shared human experience. In addition to building a sense of community, the monthly gatherings aim to help soften the edges of judgement, finding common ground beyond social labels. This platonic meeting is a chance to get to know a complete stranger - if only for one hour.
"This was amazing. We had a wonderful conversation and time flew by."
"Great event! I was very happy to see the range of ages that showed up."
"This was such a lovely way to make connections...would 100% come again!"
"A great experience communicating, relating and being present. Very relaxed and non-threatening."
Next event*: Saturday December 21, 2024 from 2:15pm until 3:30pm
Location: Cook Street Village Activity Centre (380 Cook Street)
* Please be sure to read the Community Agreement before attending. Do not arrive later than 2:15pm, as late arrivals make pairings difficult to manage.
While undertaking the Fifty First Dates Project, Carrie met 31/50, Jacinthe. Sharing the desire to build community and encourage social engagement, the two women decided to create a monthly meet up for strangers to connect platonically through conversation.
While Jacinthe is a self-professed Introvert, Carrie is not. The two women have blended their individual communication styles to create a dynamic that appeals to both introverts, and extroverts.
👥 Monthly Gatherings
Photos by Céline Bélanger
Strangers are paired at random, and in keeping with the rules from the Fifty First Dates Project, the two will have one hour to get to know each other, and see life from someone else's perspective. The gathering is open to any adult who wishes to participate in a shared human experience. In addition to building a sense of community, the monthly gatherings aim to help soften the edges of judgement, finding common ground beyond social labels. This platonic meeting is a chance to get to know a complete stranger - if only for one hour.
Everyone is welcome. Please arrive promptly, as pairs will be matched quickly, allowing conversations to begin by ASAP.
🤝 Community Agreement
Why a Community Agreement?
Let's get real here for just a moment. We are all strangers, meeting strangers. Let's make sure we are all on the same page about some basic principles that will help keep this new project running smoothly, and keep everyone feeling safe and welcome.
Alright, I'll read it!
Great choice! Thank you!
These are PLATONIC meetings. Looking for a romantic connection? Try Tinder instead!
It is highly likely that you will meet a stranger who has a very different lived experience than you. That's a good thing - we grow through exploring life from someone else's point of view. Please be respectful of any differences or boundaries between pairs.
That's basically it. Be respectful, and don't hit on anyone. These two are our dealbreakers, and we will enforce these two rules as a way to keep everyone safe.
How about some Tips to help lead to smoother conversations?
Heck yeah!
Are you an introvert, and nervous about starting the conversation? Don't worry; we've got you covered! We will have a takeaway list of conversational prompts to help get you started.
We will ring a bell to indicate the start of the hour, and ring it again to mark the conclusion of the hour. If you're going to be strolling around, we recommend that you whip out your phone and set an hour alarm.
We are all strangers, true. But we all have something in common: we are all coming with the intention of having a conversation with a stranger. There's no need for intrusive thoughts such as, "oh boy, what if this person doesn't want to talk to me?" That's literally why they are there - to talk to YOU!
You will likely be paired with someone with very different opinions than you. That's the point! Try to come at it with an open mind, and an open heart. It's a learning experience for us all!
Awkwardness and discomfort are part of the process. It's OK to be curious when these feelings arise. After the conversation is over, sit with those emotions for a while and try to figure out WHY you felt certain ways about aspects of a conversation. Introspection is one of the greatest parts of conversing with a stranger!
We all have biases. It's a powerful gift to grow awareness about our own biases, and reflect on where they originated from.
Be mindful of respecting other's boundaries, but also about setting and enforcing your own. It's a two-way street.
It's OK to say, "I don't feel comfortable talking about this." Boundary-setting 101!
We have a "Mediator in a Box" tool kit available if you feel you need assistance de-escalating a tense conversation.
This is just one hour of your life! Have fun, relax, and enjoy meeting a stranger!
⚠️ Release
We are facilitating these gatherings to contribute to building a healthy community in which we get to know other community members regardless of their age, gender, or social background. By agreeing to participate, you understand the risks involved and you do not hold Jacinthe, Carrie, and the Meet a Stranger project responsible for any harm that might arise.
💼 Team
With a background in creative arts, Carrie is an extrovert, and the author of the 2023 creative non-fiction, “Mending Broken.” In 2024 she conducted the “Fifty First Dates Project,” allowing her to learn life lessons from fifty complete strangers. Jacinthe was stranger 31/50, and the two discovered that they shared a common desire to build community and encourage social engagement. The “Meet A Stranger Project” grew from there.
Though Jacinthe is an introvert, she believes in the power of human connection. In a world where algorithms are shaping our opinions, talking to one another has become a revolutionary act, and that’s why she jumped wholeheartedly into this project with Carrie. Meet A Stranger has rekindled her project management fire, igniting the same spark she felt working with inspiring documentary filmmakers in Montreal.
Seán is an introvert who is commonly mistaken to be an extrovert. After struggling with severe social anxiety for much of his life, he became adept at talking to strangers while selling space travel supplies and helping patrons navigate the library system. In 2018, he started a series of projects that intended to make social connection across divides more accessible. He drifted away from this work during the pandemic, until he stumbled across Meet A Stranger, which rekindled his passion for community broadening.
Q&AWhat is one thing you’ve learned from a stranger that has changed your life?Carrie
When I conducted the ‘Fifty First Dates Project’ I asked each stranger WHY they wanted to participate. One of the women who volunteered for the project gave a heartbreaking one-word answer: “lonely.” Her partner had suddenly died, and she was alone in Victoria. Finding it challenging to make new friends, she saw my ad on a community notice board, and thought she could connect with another human, if only for one hour. Her story haunted me for months, and ultimately, the idea for the Meet A Stranger Project blossomed from the conversation we shared that day - so anyone experiencing the same sense of isolation that she did, would never have to feel alone again.
Jacinthe
I moved to London in my early twenties thinking I was going to land a dream job at the BBC. In my first week, a woman offhandedly mentioned a cheap hostel around the corner that allowed long-term stay. Then, a few weeks later, I found myself low on cash, without a job or a place to stay, rolling my heavy suitcase through the London tube, searching for this mysterious hostel in Earl’s Court. That hostel became home, and the people in it became family. Some are still in my life despite the physical distance between us. Instead of advancing my career, I spent years working odd jobs and living with what I could fit in my newly purchased backpack to travel the world. Who knows where I would be today if it weren’t for that stranger’s offhand comment?
Seán
Over the years, I've had many profound encounters with strangers that often didn't involve words so much as shared experiences.
I think about the elderly Chinese woman who knocked on my door many years ago, with her shy grandson by her side, neither of whom spoke English. Through a series of pantomimes, I learned that they had gone for a walk and gotten a little lost. I managed to bring up a map of the area, she pointed out the address where they lived, and I gave them a ride home.
I also remember huddling beneath an umbrella during a downpour in London with a stranger from Brazil who spoke almost no English and happened to be standing next to me amongst dense thousands of cult Harry Potter fans at the premiere event for the final film. I had gotten separated from my traveling companion during the frenzy, and being able to share this surreal moment with another isolated human still brings warmth to my heart.
Many more such moments from across my life come to mind, but when I am feeling jaded, lonely, or cynical, they lighten my heart and remind me that we are all in this together, regardless of our disparate backgrounds. And that the line between stranger & companion is only as thick as we make it.
In 2020, Carrie started creating little hearts and leaving them around Victoria for strangers to find. Attaching a brief note, the idea behind the hearts was simple: every time the recipient saw the heart, they were to pause momentarily and think of something that they were grateful for in their lives. Though simple, the Gratitude Hearts send a powerful message that we too often forget. By each person cultivating the practice of Gratitude, we can help make this world a better place - one heart at a time!
If you'd like to purchase a Gratitude Heart, they will be available by donation at each monthly event. No donation is too small; every dollar helps keep this free community program running.
Thank you for your support!
💬 The Conversation Symbol
Seán designed this symbol in 2018 to make it easier for people to identify opportunities to socialize with strangers. When worn as a pin (or placed on a table), it tells people that you are open to being approached for a conversation.
The project is based upon the idea that new social connections can be created anywhere, so long as opportunities are identified and activated. In order to make this process easier in an offline context, a simple, recognizable symbol was created to be easily copied and used in a wide variety of situations.
You can download the original conversation symbol kit here. To learn more, you can email Seán.
❓ FAQI'm an introvert. Is this the right place for me?
Meet A Stranger is designed with introverts in mind. One-on-one conversations with a time limit of 1 hour and written conversational prompts available if needed.Is this like a human library?
Our events are inspired by the human library concept, but at Meet a Stranger, both people are books.I don't do big groups. Any chance of smaller Meet A Stranger events?
We're working on it! Stay tuned, and sign up to our newsletter for updates.
Next event*: Saturday November 16, 2024 from 2:15pm until 3:30pm
Location: Cook Street Village Activity Centre (380 Cook Street)
* Please be sure to read the Community Agreement before attending. Do not arrive later than 2:15pm, as late arrivals make pairings difficult to manage.
Photos by Céline Bélanger
📝 Testimonials
This was a really enriching experience. I would highly recommend attending this event. I felt welcome, safe and part of something bigger than myself. Connecting with strangers is more important today than ever before, and this initiative makes it easy.
Meet A Stranger is an opportunity to spend an hour getting to know another person. At the same time, you could learn something about yourself.
Do it. Even if you think you cannot go and talk to strangers, try it. People have great stories and it feels great to listen to them.
I love the ambiance in the room knowing that all the people present are open to meet a stranger and are open minded enough to have a conversation for an hour about different topics rain or shine! By attending regularly we end up meeting again and crossing paths elsewhere in Victoria, so it really creates a fabulous feeling of being part of a community.
I believe that the endorphins we create while socializing in person and in a genuine and open way is excellent for our mental and physical health….especially after the pandemic and now the online experience for many. I believe that the human contacts are crucial for our wellbeing as an Individual and as a community.
Thank you very much Jacinthe and Carrie for organizing this great event every month. If this starts being combine with encouraging local businesses as well this is fantastic ! I am all in to experience more of these events as it feeds my values.
Here are some photos from past monthly events (most by Céline Bélanger). You can also see more on Instagram.
Coming soon
Contact Us
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Suggestions? We'd love to hear from you in-person or via email!
Ways To Support Our Work
The Meet A Stranger Project is grateful to have received the My Great Neighbourhood Grant through the City of Victoria. This grant covers the rental of Fairfield Community Place for the time being. What wasn't anticipated, however, was the massive public interest in this project.
So far, our team is working on a volunteer basis, putting many hours of time and energy cultivating a sustainable future for Meet A Stranger. In order to keep events free and accessible as participants grow, we have decided to raise extra funding for our increasing operational & development costs.
